I’ve kind of left this blog alone for a little while. Posting just hasn’t been on my radar. I’ve been busy getting used to my new job (which I LOVE) while working freelance and also keeping in check with my own writing too.
Honestly, I have been so busy juggling several different things at once lately that I don’t find myself stopping to actually do something simple, like reading or playing a game, until the weekend.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m in no way complaining – I do choose to work freelance about 15 hours a week on top of my fulltime job – in fact keeping busy has kept me afloat. But I’ve been keeping busy to help me get through tough times, so I’ve really just thrown myself into work to distract myself from – well, me.
Writing is different than blogging for me. With blogging I write about myself, or my opinion on something. Blogging for me is often about self-reflection. But I’ve been self-reflecting so much lately that blogging has become too much.
I’ve been spending the past 3 or so months just getting my life back to basics. Asking myself questions such as who I am, why I think a certain way and trying to remedy my own self-hate.
These things are all draining, and working is the only real thing that pulls me out of it all. Having a tangible goal has helped me to keep my feet on the ground when I have felt at times like drifting off and floating away.
My writing is me. That’s one conclusion I am certain on. So as I have stripped my thought process down to the essentials, my writing has been stripped down too.
My voice just isn’t there anymore. How I used to write is so very different to now. Now I write like I am going through the motions. Often I find myself heading down one track on a certain story and I can’t deviate from it – any writer will tell you that monotone writing will not get you anywhere.
But all this, that’s okay. It’s okay to lose your purpose, to lose sight from your goals. It’s okay, because you can always, always go back to the basics.
And the basics of writing is just writing. Anything. And that’s my first step in getting myself back to me.
And this has been my first blog in absolute months, so something must be working, right?