Day 24: Go back to a blog post you always thought could be better, or were unsatisfied with. Now, fix it.
I deleted a post about a year ago now. I wrote something in reaction to a horrible event that was happening to me at the time, but as I wished to remain anonymous (and not slag off said offending party, much to my better judgement) I made this post rather generic. It received a shit lot of criticism on Twitter (I’d link, but it’s not there anymore) and bumped my highest view count by at least 400% (thanks, Twatters ;)).
Why, you ask? What could I have possibly written to receive so much hate and criticism? Little old Luna Lefty, in her small corner of the world, merrily typing away on her keyboard to an equally small (but well appreciated) fan base?
I commented on a popular blog post that slammed Game of Thrones to death, because the author thought it “celebrated” sexism, misogyny and rape.
For one, and this is not a direct quote, but still in-keeping with my own view – Game of Thrones is fiction. We choose to read and watch fiction. It is a choice. We have the freedom to watch and read fiction, whenever we like, and whatever we like (subject to age restrictions and banned books etc). We also have the freedom to not choose to watch and read fiction. Don’t like that GoT objectifies women? That it shows naked bodies (mainly women) and rape? Don’t watch it.
My initial comment, was that just because GoT shows rape, this does not mean it celebrates it. And, unlike what the author pointed out, this does not mean that viewers like or condone it, either. It’s not enough to disgust, perhaps. But normal people know it’s not okay to rape. Unlike the authors view, showing tits, rape and violence towards women (but not men) on television is not the reason this still goes on in real life today. Just like videogames don’t relate to violence, neither can a TV program.
Why? Because we have the choice to not become affected by what we consume. Of course, humans have emotion, and things may be upsetting. But if everyone were affected by TV shows containing rape, we’d all be bloody doing it.
The result of my comment, which was basically “oi, you. Leave GoT alone. It’s amazing. And showing rape doesn’t change that” was that the author and her blogging friends went to my blog and picked on the only blog post they could find that was marginally about women and violence: a personal post, while mentioning no names, about a silly girl who lied about someone hitting her. I have the evidence to back up this lie. And I spoke about how it’s not right for women to lie about being abused.
For some reason, people found this offensive. So here’s my re-written version, for all those softies.
We’re living in a world where words like “rape culture” are thrown all around the internet. You can’t even joke about it now, because people are so sensitive. That’s fine, some jokes are in bad taste. But this phrase has been twisted somewhat, in ways where a woman feels victimised, but where no rape (attempted or otherwise) has even occurred. I’m talking, of course, about those women who feel victimised when they walk down the street and a guy cat-calls them, or a guy creeps them out in someway by the way they act, or because they said something odd.
I’m not in no way saying that this is okay. It’s not. Women are not objects, but unfortunately, many men think with their penis, and some of these men are socially unequipped to deal with their feelings, emotions, or the sheer fact that there are some things you just do not say.
It’s not okay. But there’s no reason to feel victimised by this behaviour. When a guy whistles at me or says something leery, I give him an odd look or say something sarcastic like “okay…” and go about my day. I let them know that what they said or did is not acceptable. I don’t look away or blush. I don’t look down at my feet or walk a little faster. I walk just as I always did, standing tall, with a bloody backbone and a tongue to bite back if someone does something to me I don’t like.
I detest it when men “whit-woo” at me. One guy actually did say the words “whit-woo” (not whistling), and I just stared back and said what are you, a fucking owl?
Like any regular woman, I’ve had a broad number of strange and offensive things hurled at me:
- Oh my god, where have you ben all ma lyfe? (said by scummy chav)
- GET YOUR RAT OUT! (Scottish football fans said this a lot when they supported a team playing in Manchester once)
- Get your babs/tits/jelly-babies/fun-bags out!
- Alright love?*
- Hey, you!
- Where’s this hotel? Can I have a kiss? (said by 50-year-old man pissed out of his head)
- No-one would sleep with you, you slag! Give us a snog!
- Nice arse!
- I’d fuck her.
- Fit bird.
- Alright babe?
- Sit on my cock! (by a complete total stranger!)
My most strange and potentially creepy situations are:
- I was at a Megadeth concert and the guy behind me kept putting his hand down my jeans and pants. My friend bit him on the arm though, so it’s all good.
- I got chatted up in a bookstore by a guy who couldn’t speak English very well. Choice phrases were “you come here often?” (yes, really) and “You speak good English. The next time I come here, I will find you, and you will talk to me in your English.”
And there’ll be others no doubt, ones I can’t remember, and ones that haven’t happened yet.
What’s that? Men will harass strange women on the street for years to come?
Well, yes. Rhino’s find their mate they’ve never met and have at it. Why is Man any different?
Because He has a brain you say? Well, yes. But most of the time, it’s in his penis.
The difference between normal men and these strange men who insist on hurling outbursts of passion across the street to some woman he doesn’t know, just because she has babalons, is that the normal guys might think with their penis, but they also know that if they were to jump around in public flapping it about, no woman is going to want to sleep with him.
So for the interest of procreation fellas, whatever you’re thinking of saying, don’t. Just talk to us like the regular people we are, and not the walking vaginas you see.
*This phrase annoys the piss out of me. It looks okay on paper, but men shouting “alright love!” is really annoying. Why don’t they just think “would I say this to my male friend?” If the answer is always no, shut the fuck up.