Dear Scummy Chav,
Thank you for breaking into my car. I lost a Lovefilm disc and checking my car after your filthy criminal paws knicked my stuff, I found it again which means I don’t need to pay 25 quid for a lost disc.
Thank you for smashing my window, it was dirty anyway and I couldn’t be bothered washing it so you saved me a job.
Thank you also for stealing my boyfriends iPod and the shitty wires as well. We needed a new one anyway and I’m sure your little boy or girl will love an iPod that’s about 10 years old and has a shit load of heavy metal and rap on it.
Thanks also for taking that little camping knife, I’m sure when the police find you they’ll let you off with a warning.
Hope you smiled for the security cameras outside the college directly opposite my house.
I hope the money you got from selling my stuff means you can eat for a week, since that’s clearly why you thought robbing me and costing me almost 200 quid to replace my window would put food on your table.
Angry Nissan Owner.
P.S. keep the screwdriver you took. You deserve it.