All Grown Up
When was the first time you really felt like a grown up (if ever)?
Jessa from Girls summed it up nicely for me: “I have a job where I eat lunch everyday” (or something).
Feeling like a grown-up feels awesome sometimes. I like feeling in control of my life, but also of the unexpected. I like making a life, moving house, getting a new pet, doing something adult like going for a walk in the park and drinking tea at the little café and not caring that it costs almost twice as much normally because I am paying for the experience.
But sometimes, I hate being a grown-up. When I’m sick, I want soup and sleep and to act like a child. When a big responsibility rears its ugly head, I just want to go no, thank you. Not today. And pass it on to the next unwilling person.
It’s actually not that often I am reminded I’m a proper grown-up. I drink and drive, and I vote (well, no, I don’t – but I can) and people my age have had four kids by now and been married twice. I think sometimes though, you could be 40 and still not feel like a grown-up. I’ve had to take my share, or all, of the responsibility for really scary things in the past few years – things that make you go “crap. I really shouldn’t have done that.” And things you learn from, but are ultimately bloody hard to accept.
In some ways, I am still growing. In some ways, I have already grown. I will always grow, though. I will always learn, I will probably always make mistakes.
But being a “grown-up” is accepting that growing is hard. Learning, especially from your mistakes, is hard. Saying sorry and taking responsibility is hard. Walking away from someone even though what you really want to do is scream “HOW DARE YOU. I’m telling!” is hard.
The thing about being an adult though, is knowing that once you do those things a couple of times, it gets easier.
Lunch though. Man, that shit never gets easier. Trying to structure your day around your feeding times whilst also trying to curb eating like a pig, whilst also having a bit of variety, whilst also eating enough so your stomach doesn’t gurgle horribly in your meeting that afternoon is really frigging hard.
On the whole, I really enjoy being an adult. I go to bed when I want, eat whatever, drink whatever, do whatever. That’s not what being an adult is though – being an adult is knowing there are always consequences to doing whatever you want. Part of being an adult is accepting responsibility for doing those things, even though you know you shouldn’t do them.
I think as a parent, they should allow their kids a bit of freedom growing up, because once they get to adulthood it’s all like “woo! I’m an ADULT now. Let’s drink lots and eat shit food!” and then cry like mad because they forgot they had to pay bills and shit.
I purposefully decided not to publish my daily prompt yesterday. If you would like this prompt, get in touch.