Day 3: India

No, thanks

Is there a place in the world you never want to visit? Where, and why not?

I believe in Karl Pilkington’s philosophy on India and like him, I too have no desire to visit the country.

I wouldn’t know what to eat after a day, having got bored with chicken korma and naan breads (which are probably not like the ones over here anyway) and having to shit standing up – it would do my bonce in.

So the food is one thing. Another thing is I don’t think I’d be able to do anything much there. There are a few places like this I feel about – Egypt for example – architecture and “pretty stuff” to look at just doesn’t really interest me. And to be honest, I like seeing a good view. Well, when all your view is of an endless stretch of sand dunes, what’s not to like? So much enrichment(!)

I’m not saying there wouldn’t be anything I’d find interesting. Only that based on what I know, and what I’ve seen on the telly, India just isn’t on my to-do list. Nor probably, will it ever.

There are lots of other countries people wouldn’t consider going, like countries in Africa (all those injections you have to take…), China (poverty) and places that are practically banned from tourists ever visiting, like North Korea. I don’t actually fancy places like South America because I don’t really agree with tourists hopping it over to the busiest places whilst the rest of the country lays poverty-stricken. I like going to places that are off the beaten track. When I went to Mallorca, no-one local, except the hotel people, spoke English. It was actually rather nice.

Apart from India, Turkey is a place I never want to visit again. But for the purposes of this prompt, I don’t think it counts. Let’s just say the appeal of men grabbing you and restaurants trying to feed you their slop has well worn off. If the appeal was ever there to begin with. Which I don’t think it was.



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