Tumblr Love (I Hate It)

This post seems a little belated for a Valentine’s Day infographic, but I found it at work and I’ve been wanting to write something about love and its “meaning” for a while now. Ever since being bombarded with silly quotes and pictures from teeny boppers on Tumblr saying stuff like “love is..” and “guys, when we lay on your chest, we want you to put your arm around us…” it has made me wrinkle my nose a bit and think “really?” That isn’t what love is. Love is not Valentine’s Day or a stupid meaningless quote surrounded by a stock couple holding hands. Love isn’t nice words from someone wanting to get like-minded twits to reblog their shit or a photo of something cute. I think love is subjective, and I think it means different things to different people.

Valentine's Day - Love it or hate it?

This infographic, courtesy of Essential Travel found that 20% of men think that it’s important to show your partner that you care, and 22% of women think that Valentine’s Day isn’t important, but would be upset if nothing special happened. 36% of people apparently don’t do anything for V Day (it’s unclear if the people taking part were single or taken). Of course 22% of women would think that…but what about the other 78%? What do they think? That something must be done for Valentine’s Day? That they celebrate it?
I’m in the percentile who think that Valentine’s Day isn’t important, and won’t be upset if they don’t do anything for it. I actively don’t do anything big for Valentine’s Day, I don’t want anything flashy, I don’t want to go out for a candlelit dinner, I don’t want romance. But that isn’t to say I don’t want it ever. Dan and I gave each other simple cards for V day this year, and that was it (we may have exchanged Moshi Monsters with each other ^_^). And it was meaningful. Much better than some big flowery lovey-dovey shitty card that has all these verses in that someone else wrote. We also have our anniversary a few weeks after Valentine’s Day. and it just felt like everyone else’s day, not our own.
I don’t know why people (especially women) hold it up so high. It’s a day created by corporate companies who love taking your money. It causes people to freak out, couples to break up and generally get very upset because they only got “a DVD” for Valentine’s Day. But you should treat each other everyday, if you feel like it. Why be told what day you can show someone you love them? Why only one day to celebrate love when you’re with this person everyday?
It’s a stupid day, and “Tumblr love” is a crock of shit too. I don’t see inane quotations and relate to it, there’s a reason they say “an act of kindness” because like kindness, love is an act, not words. It’s an emotion, not a picture or a quote. I don’t know what else love is for you, because everyone feels it differently, but love for me is comfort and safety. It’s being comfortable with yourself and the things and people around you that make you feel better than you are. Love for me is also about strength and heart and the will to stick through the shit times and know that the bad times aren’t there forever. It’s about taking the bad with the good and not taking advantage of the other person, of listening and giving and not judging, no matter what.
Love is not about big romantic gestures or heartfelt gifts on a day that’s for everyone else. It’s about those moments you share whenever – 3am; driving to a new city; getting through a tough time; holding hands. It’s not about who earns what, who does what chore, who gets the last word. It’s not about how they make you feel it’s about how you make them feel. It’s not about selfishness or selflessness, it’s about commitment and sharing and freedom to be yourself and being loved for being yourself. And I honestly don’t know how teenagers can say that they are “in love” when it takes so much more than strong feelings for another person. I don’t believe you can be in love with someone who doesn’t love you back, because part of being in love is that it is an emotion or feeling felt by both people. You need to know the other persons rhythm, you need to understand how they work for a relationship to work, and when one or both of you are out of sync, that’s when a relationship needs work. And when you can’t find that rhythm again, that’s when relationships fall apart.
I’m not sure what love is for the rest of you, but I know it’s not a stupid card or a stupid diamond or a stupid box of chocolates. And I know for sure, love is not Valentine’s Day.

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