Lefty Lefty Wimpy Wimpy

Wow, so now I’m actually trying to write about things that don’t piss me off I realise I haven’t got much to write about >_<

Anyway, in left-handed news, apparently left-handed people live about 7 (or is it 12?) years less than a right-handed person. But I think that’s crap because if I was right-handed, I’d have to reach over to my left to pick up my drink from the table to my left…thus perhaps dropping said drink on laptop and causing a fire and my knees to melt. Or else I’d get tangled up in my own right-handed/dumb left-handed contortion and end up dying that way. Who does these studies anyway? Who even cares?

Like that study about women apparently blinking twice as much as men. And women being able to multitask better than men. Who gives a fuck? Does blinking more make the washing up all done? No. So stop doing these fucking studies and do something worthwhile. Like what the sound of a politician would make if he fell down in a forest but no-one was there to hear him. Probably something like “oh, darn! Now I feel like a fool.” (if he was left-wing) or “ah, well that’s okay, I WAS in the way of that tree there” (if he was a member of the green party) or “FUCKING CHRIST. WHO WAS THAT WHO KICKED ME? TAX! I’M TAXING YOU ALL, ALL YOU TREES WHO ARE AROUND ME ARE BEING TAXED, I DON’T CARE WHO DID IT. YOU ALL PAY!” (If he was David Cameron).

In other news, I have NO idea how we’ve managed to survive on no money since February. I may have accidentally sold a kidney at some point so I could get to work. Fingers pulled out of asses this month: Nil.

And in other, other news I googled my old account to see if I’d actually deleted everything and not just been lied to by the internet and stumbled across all those old twatters about some old blog post I put up about a personal thing. “‘Being a victim is not okay’ like victims choose to be one”  – is what some twat tweeted. Oh, to be in their tiny minds. Clogs creaking, cells bashing, mind spinning. Why is being a victim not okay? Because it’s not okay that people do horrible things and that outcome is that someone elses life gets ruined. That’s what I meant, not victim-shaming, you cunt.

Oops, I’m not meant to be all negative am I? Well fuck you, you know who I’m talking about. If I was hostile, you’d be bleeding.

And yes, I personally mentioned someone because she does NOT get to get away with playing the Stepford Wife while she makes me out to be Frankenstein’s Bride. Anyone with half a brain can tell you that deleting someone from Facebook because you don’t like the fact they update their status to say they are ENJOYING a new job and then saying “we can still be mates in real life” is fucking retarded.

This is not anger. This is apathy, with style.

I regret nothing.




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