Drivers Beware, There’s a Woman on the Road

I don’t know why I haven’t blogged this before (well, I technically did but WordPress did a retard and deleted my post), especially when this is one thing that really gets on my wick sometimes. Bad drivers + bad weather = dicks on the road/an unhappy Luna. I suppose I’ve accepted the fact that there will always be bad drivers out there. I, myself have made some mistakes either through distraction, tiredness or just naïvety (I’ve been driving for about a year). But nothing really excuses these:

  • Staying at the traffic lights for too long when they’re on green
  • Braking for no reason
  • Leaving lights on when it’s light outside
  • Having lights off when it’s dark
  • Beeping in traffic
  • Beeping when it’s your fault
  • Beeping for no reason
  • Flashing your lights as a signal that you want the person in front to change lanes because you want to go 70mph in a 40 (should have got up earlier for work then shouldn’t you, prick!)
  • Not knowing basic give way signals
  • Waving people/cars across the road so that they get stuck in the middle and hold up the rest of the traffic (YOU ARE NOT TRAFFIC WARDEN)
  • Flashing lights to let someone out and then not slowing down
  • Yelling with your windows wound up
  • Not hearing sirens and becoming confused why cars are veering on pathways (what, are you deaf?)
  • Going up a road that says no entry (what, are you blind?)
  • Driving way below the speed limit (what, are you drunk?)
  • Throwing rubbish out of your window
  • Trying to look tough by veering in front of someone and then realising you don’t actually want to hurt your car so you veer back out like a pussy (I’m not threatened by this in the slightest. Since my car is already battered to shit, if I’m angry enough at you to want to hit your car, I WILL hit it: be warned!)

Snow and rain make bad drivers worse. And it’s not the ones who drive too fast or try to overtake you in single-lane traffic, it’s the slow, cautious drivers who grate me the most. I don’t want to idle behind Ms. Panic-Breaking when it’s icy just so SHE can say it’s my fault that I skidded into her. It’s the same with people who take FOREVER to take a corner, it’s a corner! Not a goddamn pinhead. I don’t like sitting behind people who don’t know what the fuck they’re doing in a car, if it’s that confusing to drive, maybe you shouldn’t. Learner drivers are better than people who actually have a license. But when you learn to drive, it’s this “cautious” attitude that gets praised more than the “boy-racer” (even though your instructor will probably say being cautious is just as bad). When I’m on the motorway, there is one type of vehicle I try to avoid: the slow-moving one. This includes, but is not limited to:

  • Large trucks and lorries
  • Coaches full of kids
  • Coaches with old people on them
  • Tractors
  • Vehicles carrying farm animals (although it’s funny to see a cow sticking it’s tongue out of the back of one)
  • Highway maintenance vehicles
  • Vehicles carrying cars
  • Caravans
  • Cars with trailers attached
  • The “Sunday Driver”
  • Slow cars

They say speed kills but am I more likely to be in an accident by sitting behind a slow vehicle and wait for its possible braking/crashing/sliding to occur, or am I more likely to have an accident when I’m driving 80mph down the motorway and zooming past all the said slow-vehicles? (I’m probably more likely to have an accident that’s fatal when driving faster)

The face I pull whenever I’m on the motorway, in general

Okay, there’s a LOT that annoys me about drivers and driving, and if I were to encounter lots of these types of people in one day, I would probably want to kill me some muddafookas, but for the most part, I enjoy driving; it’s fun and sometimes you notice things that you wouldn’t do normally, such as silly things people or drivers do that makes you actually giggle in bemusement or pleasure.

For example, I was waiting at a set of traffic lights with two cars in front, one in front of me and another at the side of this car in the other lane. The lights had been on red for a while, so one driver mistakenly thought that no traffic = can go, and so, he went. But the other driver, he must have been on crack or something, because he went through the red too, after waiting there for about five minutes. Wtf? So both cars waited at the traffic lights and then both went, edged out a bit first, looked at each other and then went. Like, if you’re going to be daring, don’t hesitate.


Silly, silly Sunday drivers. You make me angry, you make me want to call you a c**t, but you will never fail to please me at your often stupid stupidity. I’m going out in the car now to get food, so let’s see how many more silly drivers I can encounter. I’m watching you, person-who-doesn’t-know-where-parking-lines-are.

I don’t know why all the cats. Because I like cats and I like pulling faces at them.




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